Well now, 3 months is a long time. That is how long it has been since I took the time to write. Every time I say "well" it makes me giggle. My grandma, age 93 has always used "well" but seldom in a good sort of way. It was usually in that good southern way that led into some sort of judgement. But it still makes me smile. Honestly, she is a lovely lady who has experienced more in her life than I can possibly imagine. She is a good southern women, often all about perception. But a good mom, grandma, great-grandma and now a great-great-grandma. I hope I am doing as good as her at that age. She just sold her car a little over a year ago. In fact, she drove to Colorado (from Oklahoma) just 5 years ago. Straight through.....wow!
Anyway, I know you don't really care about my grandma. You just want to know what is happening in the Degnan house. How is Daria? Lily? Annabelle? Emma? And the crazy parents of the 4 amazing girls.....
Well......some 7 months ago I remember Jamie saying, "you need to get a grip, this is the easy part." Mind you this was in Ukraine, while I was fully engulfed in what I have affectionately termed my "crazy days." In his defense, he was trying in his guy way, to encourage me. What I heard was, it is only going to be harder once we get home. This in no way comforted me, really, not at all. In fact, it had the opposite effect. I remember telling him through my tears, "stop, don't say that ever again." I couldn't imagine anything being any worse than what I was experiencing at that moment. And in case you forgot, I felt every single moment of the 10 weeks spent in Ukraine. For once, I must say that "he was wrong." That was, at least so far, the hard part.
Yip, you got it right. That was the hard part. I must use the disclaimer...so far! We have a long way to go, but really...things are going pretty darn good. I won't make you wait till the end to find out all about Daria. I will give it to you straight up front. She is doing great.
In fact, to use her own words...awesome. Everyday when I pick the "children" (I will explain it later) up from school, I ask "how was your day?" And everyday, Daria's answer is "awesome." Literally, everyday! Drives Annabelle crazy...you ask her how her day was..."ok." Daria is quick to ask, "why just ok." "Why not awesome?" Actually Daria comes running to us everyday, usually concluding with a nicely executed dive roll right at my feet. Which explains why she should not wear white....grass stains.
Now, it is not without struggles, frustration and annoyances. First with her and Lily...here are two little girls sharing everything, time, space, friends. I have to be honest, it has been hardest on Lily. This has rocked her world. She had visions of a little sister who would need her. What she got was an older sister who is confident, independent and outgoing and definitely does NOT need her. The girls are still sharing a room. This is good and bad, I think mostly good for bonding. But....we are getting ready to finish our basement so that all the girls can have their own rooms. The one thing we have noticed is that Daria doesn't know what to do with personal time or space. And Lily really needs some of each. Honestly, both girls have inspired me so much. What each of them has been thrown into is not easy, not in the slightest. Lily is our most tenderhearted one, yet when pushed can be down right mean. Daria, just trying to figure out where she fits. All in all, they are both doing "awesome." It isn't easy, but they are both growing in so many ways.
Speaking of growing...Daria has grown almost 2 inches since she got here. Watch out Annabelle....I look back at her little passport photo taken back in April in Nikopol. She was a "little" girl, now...not so much. She has filled out, grown up (literally). Her coloring has changed, still big brown eyes and brown hair but the skin color is where you see it. Her hair is growing like crazy, 2 hair cuts down and another due. Maybe this is due to how the girl can eat, and I mean eat. Well, wait actually she eats great as long as it has absolutely NO heat, that means no pepper, table pepper. Funny really, a few weeks ago I made Chicken Tortilla soup. I deliberately made it less hot with her in mind. However, 1 hour and 20 minutes later (the other girls had finished after 10 minutes) as she sat with her soup still sitting right in front of her, I began to wonder. The debate went something like this...Daria, "can I eat just this much (as she tried to separate her soup), me, "no, sorry. You don't have to eat any of it, BUT if you don't there will be no treat later." Daria, "what if I eat this much (still trying to separate her soup). Me, "no, sorry kiddo. You either have to eat it all or no treat later." This goes on for quite some time until I finally say, "Daria, you don't have to eat it. But remember, if you don't no treat later." At this point she had no more than a couple of bites left. (oh, keep in mind she had lots of corn bread, milk & water.) She gets up, says "ok" and heads to the trash. Then I say, "really, look at how little you have left. You have worked so hard to eat it and you are just gonna quit." With a sharp shoulder shrug, she returns to the table and two bites later she is done....mission accomplished.
Things discovered...yesterday she discovered ranch dip, not dressing. She eats her salad dry. But dip, she loves potato chips and add the ranch and she, her words, loves it. I am surprised it has taken 6 months to discover that one. Reading, about 2 weeks ago we established 30 minutes of "personal" time. We are making (mean aren't we) each of the "children" spend 30 minutes on their own with out electronics or interaction with humans. That means reading....about a week in something clicked and Daria discovered that she liked to read. It has been interesting to watch her, she doesn't love or even like, time on her own. She constantly seeks out attention and interaction with the sisters. But sometimes the sisters need some time alone. Hence, the rule of personal time. Seems the "Diary of a Whimpy Kid" is her current favorite. A little humor goes a long way.
Academically, well that is an interesting one. We had parent/teach conferences last week and couldn't be more proud of her. She is doing "awesome" in school. She is right at grade level. Her grasp of the English language is amazing. She is fully and completely fluent. Which probably explains her enjoyment for reading.
Socially, again amazing. She has lots of friends. She and Lily love, and I mean love, playing football at recess and lunch. In fact, Daria is basically obsessed with football. We often go to Berthoud High football games. While Lily is there solely for social reasons, Daria is standing as close to the field as she can get. Walking the sidelines right along with play...she is Degnan! She is watching and learning with every step. When we turn on a football game, she always asks "which team are we going for?" For Halloween she is going to be a Denver Bronco football player.
Emotionally, again...freaky good. She has started to defend herself. If an injustice has been done, she clearly expresses her case and is usually right on the money. We don't see much emotion but she has a clear sense of what is right and wrong.
So what is she calling us....drum roll please. Yes, it is mom and dad. Regularly and consistently. She still seems to be more attached to "dad" than "mom". No worries for me, she is definitely one of the girls. It is all about the girls, right?
Now to the rest of them. To start, Lily. I have said a bit about her already. As I mentioned, this is hardest on her. But in true Lily fashion, she is rising to the challenge. A few weeks ago, Daria got hurt (playing football) at school. While Daria sucked it up, Lily cried on her behalf. She is busy with music lessons and just finished an undefeated volleyball season. She and Daria played on the same team, a first for both of them. That was fun and funny...Daria thought is was soccer and gave the ball a good "header." She has grown a good inch herself. I just bought her jeans and they are ankle high now. My itty bitty might just grow. She is still a cute little thing though.
Annabelle, now a high school freshman. Can't believe it really. She is doing great, loving high school and her friends. She went to Homecoming, and was absolutely lovely. Still trying to convince her that she should join the debate club. Really, she has a gift. It is often frustrating to me, but really a gift....She has had a bit of a rough go this year, finding out that she and gluten are NOT friends. Being a foodie, the idea of drastically altering her diet is not something she is embracing. She is a constant source of humor in our house.
Emma, a junior is busy with cross country and school. She and her teammates just qualified for state (3rd straight year) and will compete next Saturday. She has been working through a difficult year, plagued by injury. She has endured 2 intense deep tissue treatments and dry needling. She is tougher than me. Her dedication, focus and toughness inspire me.
For the mom and dad...well, we are blessed. This has not been an easy stretch for our girls. We just completed our busiest catering season to date. We did 21 events from July 1 to September 30, that is 21 events in 14 weeks. Our total events since May...36. That is on top of Jamie maintaining a 40 hour a week job and me working part-time. All be it, very part time. What this means for the girls, is on average 2 nights a week that we (neither of us) are not at home. Emma has been working for us all year which leave Annabelle as the designated care giver of the "children." That is where the term came from, Annabelle has dubbed them the "children." The actually don't like to be called that unless it is by Annabelle. The is the go to cooker, cleaner and fight breaker-uper. She has been amazing, and this is no easy task. And while the crazy part of the year is over, it is only a lull. We have another 3 events in November. 3 (so far) in December and 2 in January. Those numbers will increase. Don't misunderstand me. Growth is a good thing for the business, it is not without sacrifice and difficulty with the family. Our hope, that next year we actually grow enough that Jamie could cut back his work load and we could maybe hire some really help. Honestly, God has been good, gracious and merciful.
Jamie accomplished a long held goal. He summited Longs Peak, one of Colorado's most challenging 14'rs. I am so proud of him, this is no easy feat. He did it in style, part of a group on a fundraising climb. He also played some summer softball, a good outlet for him. Not proud to say that I didn't see a single game. Bad wife!
For me, I got my annual girls concert in. Seeing Tim McGraw and Kenny Chesney at Mile High Stadium with my concert buddies. A beautiful summer night, fun, fun time. Maybe next year I should consider climbing a mountain. Not to sell my self short, I did complete a 5k with Emma. The Diva Dash, it was fun, hot but fun. Most importantly, I finished. It might not have been pretty, but I finished
But, and that is a BIG BUT...the last month of the season was very physically and emotionally taxing on us. We had several weeks that had 3 straight weddings and let me tell you, if you haven't ever done what we do...that is a lot. We personally work every event, start to finish. Someday I should wear a pedometer and track my steps. It is very physically demanding, long days that run from noon to past mid-night. Lots of lifting, caring, walking and then add in trying to keep your bride, her mom and all the other guest happy, whew...I am tired just remembering. Please, don't get me wrong. It is a great job, we get paid to participate in the greatest day of a couples life. I consider it a privilege. I get to pray for them, and they often have no idea. But when the season is over, wow, what a relief. This is why we always plan a vacation for the fall. It is well earned and beyond needed.
Which leads me to my next subject...vacation. Many of you know how I love the beach, particularly the beach in Mexico. I know, some say it is a bad idea. Me, I say I will not live in fear of some nut-case drug dealers. We take every precaution. We don't put ourselves in unnecessarily dangerous situations and we use wisdom. That is why we pick the Riviera Maya region of Mexico. Just south of Cancun. We go with an all-inclusive resort, therefore no reason to venture far. So this years vacation, Puerto Morelos. About a 20 minute cab ride south of the Cancun airport. We are taking all the girls, our first family vacation. Our reward for a winter of utter frozen craziness and a summer of total wedding chaos. We scored 10 days a price less than what 7 would normally be, thanks to some creative holiday travel and a resort promo. Before we booked, I asked Jamie if we could get one day for every week spent in Ukraine. I was kidding (kind of), who would of thought it would actually work out. We have never vacationed for more than 7 days, but starting November 16 we will experience what a 10 day vacation feels like. All of this funded by the generosity of clients through their gratuities this summer...example of God's goodness and graciousness. Not one penny is out of our pocket, and we are talking a family of 6 here.
There are so many ways I could talk about Gods faithfulness and goodness. The transition home, the relational mercies, the growth of the business, the health we continue to walk in, the financial provision. All very really, none escaping notice. Recently I had to do a current "financial" for the court. Documenting our out of pocket expenses for the adoption. I won't go into specifics, lets just say that it was beyond what even I had expected. All the travel, food, lodging, medical, translators, social workers, training (how to be a good parent), document accumulation (birth certificates, marriage license, house deeds), criminal back ground checks, department of homeland security clearance,then add in the lost income and it is a big number, really, really big number. BUT...not one house payment was late, not on utility bill missed. And let me tell you, it isn't like we had a bunch of cash just laying around, we had no cash laying around. God called, said GO, and He provided. Looking back, all I can say is wow! He really does equip the called rather than calling the equipped...in more ways than one.
So beyond all of that...this is our summer. Lots of work, add in Water World, Rockies baseball, many, many trips to the pool. Homecoming for the big girls, Daria turned 11 and Emma turned 17. We played volleyball and football. Went hiking, biking, scootering and walking. We have had sleepovers, playdates, shopping trips and dining out experiences. The mom and dad have been lucky enough to see two Bronco games live and in person. One of my most favorite things of all time. Several hometown football games, parades and family gathering. Get to gathers with cousins, aunts and uncles, sleepovers at grandma & papa's house. Ice cream with friend made while in Ukraine. Church celebrations and summer camps. Wow, we have been busy. Busy and blessed.
On a personal note...reflection continues to be a constant in my life. My time in Ukraine is still ever present and influences my day to day life. I and looking forward to reading my blog, I have decided to start in February and walk through it, day to day, one year later. A great opportunity to look back, embrace the today and gaze out at what the tomorrows might bring.
I continue to be ever thankful of where I have been and where God has brought me. The character, the strength, the courage and the perseverance all wrapped up into one little package. All yet to fully be unwrapped. God is good....all the time.
