So, what is all the hype about Friday the 13th. So what if a few horror movies carry the name. For me, this year, Friday the 13th is just another reminder of God's grace and mercy. Personally, I love Friday the 13th. It will forever go down in my personal history as one of the greatest days of all time. Yes, you heard it, all time. Why you might ask, good question but for now I will leave you hanging with a Degnan family "status update."
Shall we go from the top down, age I mean, not rank! Jamie has been working like a mad man. 40 hours a week at his "paying gig" and depending on the week a good 20 to 30 at the "oh, please let us make some money on this party" job. He hasn't had more than a day of in any given week since early May. And sadly, most weeks have equalled about a half a day off. He did manage to squeeze in a good long hike a week or so ago. All the while he is still playing softball and hasn't missed but one of Lily's softball games.
For me, well I am busy all the time. Just don't ask me doing what. I know there is a lot of laundry, a lot of dishes. I think my back side is going flat with all the time spent at my desk. Then we have softball, the gym and the grocery store to keep our banana supply up. I am loving being back at the cafe, albeit on a very part-time basis. My little self-help thing of recent is getting back to the gym. Even subjecting myself to the torture of a personal trainer. Torture and humiliation really. Annabelle and I are doing it together, oh to be young again. She kicks my butt at everything except flexibility and balance...gotta give the old lady something. I also started running, I said I was gonna after all the walking of the Ukraine. Should of started sooner though, now I am starting from ground zero. I entered the Diva Dash in Boulder in a couple of weeks. Emma and I are doing it together. Well at least we will start together. I plan to drive, that way I am guaranteed that she will wait for me at the finish.
Emma, Oh goodness Emma. She is ever steady and a great big sister. She is the queen of getting Daria all kinds of riled up just before bed then leaving me to deal with the fall out. But, I must give credit where credit is due, she has really embraced this whole process. Cross country training is in full swing with 3 formal practices a week, she is also going to the gym and doing lots of independent runs like her 4 miles last night at 9pm. She makes me tired.
Then we have little miss Annabelle...oh, Annie! She makes me laugh out loud and completely crazy all at the same time...someone please explain how that is possible. Regularly locked in her room with her nose buried in a book. If her nose isn't buried, than her ears are securely covered with headphones, connected to the iPod, playing a movie or sometimes even music. Convenient when her mother is yelling her name. Our go-to cook or babysitter, or if we are feeling the need to have a great debate. It reminds me of arguing with my dad, no matter how wrong he was, he always seemed right. That is her, she is always right. She is a quick whit, that one. She loves her some baseball, Rockies baseball. She went to the game tonight with her dad and a couple of the girls, she was the only one who knew the final score...even her dad didn't know, Mr. Baseball himself.
Now we shall go out of order a bit. Lily the youngest, to her dismay she is still in fact the youngest. Tomorrow she will play in her first ever softball tournament. A single elimination tourney. Game one is at 8am. Tonight they played a playoff game to determine the league champion. Unfortunately, they lost. A sloppy game and a disappointing game, especially in witnessing the bad behavior of the opponents coach. These same girls played together last year, I think they only won maybe 2 games. They have come a long way and it has been a blast to watch. We finally had her very belated birthday, only 3 months late. She told me today that she couldn't wait for school to start. Only 43 more days to go.
Now Daria, I know that is all you have been waiting for. She is doing great...a funny process really. So this past Sunday, Jamie, Lily, Daria and I were eating dinner. We have been working on table manners..."Mom, can you pass the...." well, as it works out Daria wanted the butter. She stood up and stretched out her arm, right over my dinner plate in and attempt to snatch the butter. I slowly placed my hand on the butter and looked her square in the eye and said, "Mom, can I have the butter please." She grinned, giggled a bit and then turned to Lily and said, "Lily will you pass the butter please." You can imagine the shock and awe on my face. Truth be told, I was a bit ticked off. It would have been one thing if she just turned to Lily and asked for the butter, but to use her name in the same context pushed me a bit over the edge. I took a deep breath and my only reaction was to say, "that was rude." At that point, a bit of a line had been drawn in the sand. Three months has passed and still no acknowledgment of me being mom, or anyone for that matter. So after dinner this leads Jamie and I to having a heart to heart about it "being time." Being the mature, direct adults that we are we send miss Lily outside so that we can have a few moments with Daria. We explain to her that we are family, she agrees with a "for now" response. We talk about how we know that she refers to us as mom and dad when talking to the sisters. We discuss how it shows respect and courtesy to refer to someone by an endearing name. She refers to everyone, yes everyone else by something, name, Mr. or Mrs...everyone but us. Her mom and dad. Well, yes I drew the line in the sand. The time has come and my will is greater than yours. Our instruction....tomorrow if you need something you must ask, "mom (or another endearing name of your choice) may I have...." and if not, well no computer. Her responses, I can do that. Just in case you aren't tracking, that was "I can go with out computer" not I can call you mom.
So morning dawns, she works her way through breakfast without the need to "ask" for anything. Same for lunch. Then Lily asked, "mom, can I have a popsicle?" We had made home-made popsicles the day before. I say, "sure, help yourself." Daria sits there. Lily says, "Daria, you can have a popsicle." Daria, "no, I have to ask." Around rolls dinner. I fill her plate, pasta, sauce, salad & bread. This time, she doesn't ask or even suggest butter, much less dressing for her salad. She ate it dry. Then Emma and her boyfriend, Tommy walk in. They have soda. Soda is a treat in the Degnan house, and a treat that Daria loves. She see's it, listens as both Annabelle and Lily ask, "Mom, can I have some soda." All she says, "oh, I want pop." Still she refuses to ask.
Dinner comes and goes and I decide that that night would be a good night to make home-made brownies. As soon as the batter is done, here comes Annabelle and Lily again. "Mom, can I have some batter?" Sure I say...hush with the salmonella, I have been eating batter of all varieties for years and have yet to end up sick......so then follows Daria, "oh, I want some." My response, "all you have to do is ask." "But how," she says. "Mom, can I have some batter." Low and behold, out it popped..."Mom, can I have some batter?" Holy Cow...my reflex to control. I jump and scream "yes, see it didn't even hurt." She jumped back and proclaimed, "you scared me." I calm myself and go about giving her what she asked for and finishing off the baking process. Once the brownies were done, it was the same story all over again. Annabelle and Lily ask, "Mom, can I have a brownie?" Daria comes over, "oh, I want one." Me again, "all you have to do is ask." And once again, "Mom can I have a brownie?" This time there was no screaming, just giving her the brownie and celebrating on the inside.
The very next day I was working at my desk, she comes in the office and all on her own asks, "Mom can I have an apple?" YES! My will is stronger than yours and yes, it took 3 months but, by george we got it....Mom. She even referred to Jamie as Dad, completely unsolicited.
Tonight she got to go to her first ever Major League Baseball game. She has been waiting patiently. From the sounds of it, it was a huge success. The Rockies won, she got another American hamburger (her favorite) and Jamie even gave her Coke. I told Jamie he could stay up all night with her since it has been proven that Coke keeps her awake. They even handed out purple town tonight so she came home with a souvenir.
My little endearing story of the week...this morning I get up. As soon as I leave my room I hear, "yes, Daria, even if your house burns down, Jesus still loves you and is protecting you." This is Lily talking to Daria about how God loves us even in the bad things of life. Made my heart smile.
So you are still wondering why Friday the 13th is the greatest day ever for me. Well, back in April on Friday the 13th, I landed in Denver with our newest daughter. We were greeted by the greatest family and friends ever. I got to hug my girls, cry true tears of joy and sink into sweet sleep in my own bed after 10 weeks of Ukrainian living. Knowing that I was home to stay, no going back this time. Home it was, with my husband, my girls. Sheer bliss, joy beyond measure and thankfulness to my God who showed himself true and just, day after day, week after week and month after month. So today (yesterday now) is Friday, July 13th. We have been home for 3 months. All it does is make me reflect on the goodness, the grace and the mercy of my God. I am reminded of how thankful I am, for so, so many things. How unworthy I am and how humbled I am. He chose me, little, weak, chicken me...and with His help, through His mercy I have come out the other side, stronger, braver, and a little more broken than before and immensely more grateful. Friday the 13th...you are my favorite day!
