The last couple of days I haven't been very inspired to write. Not much going on and I don't want to just dribble on about nothing. Funny really, when we are out and about I think of all kinds of things that I should write about. The little quirks of the former Soviet society that is trying to work its way out of the socialist reign. The realities of "city" life, something I know absolutely nothing about being the little Colorado mountain girl I am. The frustrations of the language barrier, which is huge for me. The sheer overwhelming nature of this experience and my inability to control anything in my life right now. This is probably the area that I am learning the most about. Yip, me the little control freak I am.
When you step out of your little cookie cutter life and venture into the world of international adoption, you better check your need to control your situation at the door. Seriously! I was thinking about the things in my world that I can actually control right now and beyond my basic existence, everything is outside my control. I can't control the SDA (the branch of the Ukrainian government which oversees adoption). I can't control what children they do or do not show us. I can't control when we get to meet her. I certainly can't control whether she will say yes to us or not. I can't control what is going on at home, with my girls, my house. Even controlling my bank account is somewhat out of my control, I had to put one of the girls on as a signer just to make sure everything could be paid. I can't even really control the time in my day, some days I can. But others are just waiting on this or that appointment, signature or authorization. Today, it is waiting on a phone call to say if we get our appointment today or not. I think the biggest obstacle for me is that I can't control the calendar. I have tried to stop looking at it, it just makes me sad and frustrated. Supposably so much is being done on our behalf, yet without our involvement.
What am I learning through this? Well, that God's time is not my time, it is irrelevant to Him. That God is writing a story and we are simply the tools to tell it. That God loves me and He loves my girls at home and because He loves us, I can trust Him to take care of the details. That God's plan is ALWAYS perfect. Basically, to wait upon the Lord. So I wait. Bracing myself, desperately trying to convince myself not to be disappointed if we don't get our appointment today. We will get it at the appointed hour that He has predetermined and He will have the exact child waiting for us at that time. I am human though and I probably will be disappointed, but I will get over it. What is one more day right. Oh, I wish I had a dollar for every time I have said those words over the past 3+ weeks.
Anyway, I will tell you my funny story of the week. I was running out of shampoo and conditioner so we stopped at the store to get some. Obviously, I can't make heads or tails of the language so this was a crap shoot right. I went on visual, at home with many brands the shampoo is in an "upright" bottle and the conditioner is in one that sits on its lid. So I went with it, lets just say my hair was super clean after washing twice. I got shampoo and shampoo. Now I have to go back and figure out what conditioner is. Don't tell me to look at the bottle and figure out the word for shampoo, neither of the bottles have a single word in common other than the brand name, Pantene! I will let you know how it works out. Someone said, "I hope that isn't an indicator of how long you are going to be here." Me either!!!
I did get to join staff meeting back at Grace Place yesterday. Oh how I love that amazing group of people. What an encouragement they are. And good for a laugh! Thanks guys. This morning we got to Skype with Grammy and Papa. Familiar faces and voice are a sheer delight!
I love looking at the stats page on our blog, it breaks down where in the world people are following from. We have Indonesia, Australia/New Zealand, Canada, Germany, Ukraine and obviously the U.S. Technology is cool and it is such a comfort to know that we have so much love and prayer from literally all over the world. Thanks!!!
Yesterday we had a marathon of "Anne of Green Gables." Lily had a bit of a stomach bug so it was good couch day. Jamie made it through video number 1, then had to take himself on a walk. He hates being cooped up with nothing productive to do.
Guess I better do something somewhat productive, laundry! Those of you who know me know that of all domestic tasks, laundry is the one I like the least. Let me tell you, there is a big difference between laundry for 3 and laundry for 5 (soon to be 6) guess I better enjoy it while it lasts.
Oh, and a very wise friend commented before we left that when she was in Ukraine, she was so tired of her clothes when she left that she left some of them behind. I am so, so with you on that.
We are truly living Ground Hog Day.
No comments:
Post a Comment