By this time, any of you who have read any of this blog know that we Degnan's are sports nuts. No surprise that March Madness is finally showing up. But wait, it isn't the March Madness you might expect. This is what has become my personal March Madness.
Seems I am detecting a theme, a trend of sorts. It appears that with the month of March comes my own personal Madness. We all remember my trip down crazy lane last March. A trip that sometimes I wish would just be removed from my memory but really, truth be told...I don't ever want to forget it. It has become largely a trip that has defined me, maybe better said, refined me.
I just finished reading my entries from March 8 through the 13th. The fateful day that Lily and Jamie went home leaving me a sobbing mess on that train platform all the way through the day I learned I was going home for a "time out" or a "break in the action." Albeit, what ended up being a 30 second time out. . As I read through those dark days I was pulled right back to that pit of homesickness, fear and doubt. Suffering from anxiety, sleeplessness, and depression. I was that little mouse running in the tall grass. I couldn't see my way out, I was lost. Looking back, wow! I was growing, learning, stretching more than any other time in my life. I wasn't giving up, quitting or running home but running my race. I was pushing through, with a goal in mind. Last March I was existing in the lower story. Having no perspective, no concept of what the upper story was. I missed the fact that the tall grass was protecting me. I was the mouse in tall grass, it was for my own good. Today, it would be a stretch for me to say i fully understand the upper story, I don't. But I do get a lot of it. I needed to feel, and I do mean "feel" everything I felt in those weeks. I needed to experience true and utter dependence and I needed to feel empowered to take back what was my appropriate power. Giving perspective that human will, human power will not really get you to far. It is when you are completely dependent that you find your inner strength and courage. Hmmm, profound moment for me. Guess that is the whole "Christ in me" thing.
This time last year, I would have been sitting in a chair at the Lighthouse Cafe with several of my favorite people. Crying yet again, so thankful to be home. So thankful for the warm Colorado sun, the love of my family, the comfort of my own bed, in my own house, eating....breathing deeply and still feeling acutely the reality that this adventure was far from over. But ever so thankful for a time out.
So, why then should I be surprised that this March brings a new Madness, though a different madness? Actually, I'm not a bit surprised by it. Although, I am a bit surprised by the type of madness. As soon as I got home for good last year, we jumped right into catering season. We had weddings lined up through December and it became evident very quickly that we were going to have to find our own facility. While both Jamie and I know what we needed, what we didn't know was how hard it was going to be. Jamie was working full time at his "paying" job and working just as much at the catering. I was working part time at the cafe and full time with the catering. We were trying to integrate a new child into our family, keep the others on track. We had a lot on our plate, too much already. We found ourselves in a place where it was time to make a tough decision. Do we press on and keep working to make Origins Catering all that we knew it could be or do we stop it completely. It was that do or die moment. Honestly, it wasn't a hard decision. We knew from the very beginning that God had set us on the path with Origins so we set off on the next chapter in the Degnan adventure. Looking for our own facility.
Now, commercial real estate is not an area either of us knew a thing about. We have bought and sold several homes but commercial property is a whole different beast. The one thing we knew was we wanted to stay in Berthoud. This in and of itself complicates things. Berthoud is not a large city, not even a medium sized town...it is small town America, Mayberry really. So this limited our options, significantly. I wanted some place the girls could walk to from school, that had space for us to grow and that would be a good investment. Since we come and go a lot late at night, we wanted it well lit and safe. We wanted to buy, not lease. We looked at warehouse, industrial areas. That is what Jamie wanted. We considered purchasing an existing restaurant that was closing. Finally we looked at a building that was more of a store front type of building. It had parking, good outside lighting, easy access for deliveries. It had been suggested to us more than once, in fact, more that a handful of times. We were always quick to say no. But after exhausting all the other available options we decided, "well lets take a look." The building was definitely much larger than we needed, or wanted. It was divided into 3 sections. One was already rented out, but the other two were open. One end had originally been a laundry mat, ironically commercial kitchens and laundry mats share a lot of the basic necessities for water and power and it was built in a way that it already had several things that the health department would require for finish. The downside, we would have to purchase the entire building so not only would we be embarking on running our own facility, we would be automatic landlords. Not something we wanted. So imagine our surprise when we walk in and realize this is "it." There was not a doubt in either of our minds, this is the place that would be the home of Origins Catering Company.
When we started this process, our first stop was the bank. We didn't have a bunch of cash laying around and knew we would have to secure financing before we got to far down the road. Added benefit of living in Mayberry is that you really do know everyone, including the banker. His kids go to school with my kids, you know how it works. Great small town connections. He spent a lot of time with us, talking through the options. Explaining SBA vs. conventional lending, the pro's and con's of each. Give us a stack of information and applications. Points us in a direction that made sense. Yet, when I got home and started looking at the pile of documents, the lengthy process and the criteria to "qualify" I quickly became overwhelmed. All I could think about was the months, literally, that I had spent just the previous year chasing down home deeds, marriage license, criminal back ground checks, pulling financial statements, attending classes, and much more, all to adopt Daria. I didn't know how I was gonna make it through this. After that application process, I didn't care if I ever saw another application of any kind. What compounded those feelings was the fact that this was just one of several applications I was going be faced with in this whole process. We still had the health department and the local building department to deal with.
Come to find out, God had a different idea. An idea I never saw coming. Who would of thought that private financing was an option. Who would of thought that not only was it an option, but one that came to us. We didn't have to seek it out. So my fretting, stress...all for naught. What a blessing when you just stumble upon the exit from the tall grass.
Unfortunately, there is no fighting the grass when it comes to the health department. For any of you who are curious, the paperwork required to open a commercial kitchen is more in depth than that required to adopt a child. Scary isn't it. A 31 page applications that must include your entire menu, how each item will be handled, prepared, cooled and reheated. Outline your fire suppression and exhaust system. You must calculate water flow and temperature recovery rates. List every piece of equipment, its make, model and attach the appropriate spec sheets. You have to outline a sick employee policy, a heating and cooling log. You must provide a detailed floor plan showing every drain, and power outlet. You must tell them what every wall, floor and ceiling surface will be. Exhausting, overwhelming and not an easy task. This step alone took us 4 weeks.
Where are we now? Well, as of Friday, March 15 we are the proud owners of a 3000+ square foot building in downtown Berthoud. It is located right smack dab between all three schools. It is on a well lit street and is in very good condition. We will occupy just over a third of the building with our kitchen and office space. The current tenant will stay and we hope to rent the remaining space soon. The renters will actually pay over 3/4th of the mortgage when it is full occupied. We are still waiting on final approval from the health department so that we can start construction but are hoping to have that by the weeks end. Then the real Madness begins...construction, jumping through the hoops of the building department and working for our final certificate of occupancy and a license to operate a retail food operation. Hopefully in time for the start of catering season, June 1.
As this journey has progressed, I remember driving by that building years ago and saying "that would be a perfect building for us." Who would'a thunk it.
So yes, this has been another March filled with Madness. I have been stressed out, my sleep patterns yet again disrupted. I am anxious and a bit of a nervous nelly. I am overwhelmed by all that needs to be done and then by the thought that once it is done, I have to run it. Now we have bills, not just a mortgage, but utilities, insurance, maintenance. We have to buy equipment, set up an office. Yikes! One thing that is different this year over last. Last year I couldn't eat, this year...I can't stop eating.
Oh, yea...don't forget tax season is upon us. So all the while I am working at a feverish pace to get all of that pulled together. Of course, our taxes can't be an easy thing. When you own your own business, that complicates things enough. Then add in an adoptions, wow what a twist that is. It has been interesting though. As I have had to go back through every dime spent, it is another reminder of Gods faithfulness. On paper, we never should have been able to do what we did last year. I still can't reconcile the math, it simply doesn't add up. 2 and a half months of disrupted income and we never missed a payment.
On the family front, all is well. The girls are healthy and happy (most of the time, they are girls, they are pre-teens and teens). We seem to be settling in a nice season at home. Lots of meals together, lots of activities. Softball, soccer and track are all under way. The big girls are spending their weekend, the entire thing, at life guard training. Next week we will celebrate Lily's 11th birthday. It will not escape my memory the heartache I felt last year being away on her birthday. Not this year, I will hug her extra and hold her tight. Can't wait.
Right now we are preparing for a family tradition...March Madness, no really, the real March Madness. We will all fill out our brackets and some friendly wagering will go on. One will win, the other will be the losers. Hoping a Colorado team or two will dance.
What about next March, yip I am thinking ahead. Maybe if I plan right I can skip the Madness. Jamie and I will celebrate our 20th anniversary in June of 2014. I am thinking March will be a good time to get away and celebrate all God has done in us and through us.
A final word or two. First, I hope my roommate of last year is healing up and resting comfortably. Karen, been thinking a lot about you. A simple "thank you" just doesn't seem to say enough, yet I can't adequately find the words to express my gratitude. Another thank you is in order, last year as we were preparing to go to Ukraine, we were given a generous gift. One that touched us so deeply. We have a feeling that we know who it was, but not entirely certain. But know this...we love you and appreciate your kindness, generosity, thank you! One day, we plan to pay it forward. Do the same thing for another family who is stepping out, unsure of the journey but confident in the calling. These two are just two of the many people who helped make it possible for Daria to with us today. You blessed us, you are blessing many!
Well, off to make dinner...let the madness continue!
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