Opposite Extremes

So it has happened...I have now been home longer than I was away, by three days!  Crazy really, so, so much has happened in the past 10 weeks.  In some ways it seems like I have been home for months, in others, I just arrived.  Two worlds, Colorado and Ukraine...separated by 5,646.73 miles.  There are the obvious differences, language, socio-economics, culture, history.  Then there are the "felt" differences.  I can't imagine that there is ever a time of year in Ukraine where you could actually where shorts much less leave your apartment without a jacket.  Really, a hoodie, coat, scarf, gloves, hat and snow boots.  I know they have a real summer, from what I understand the guys break out the "white" shoes.  The men aren't real shorts wearers.  That is how you can pick an American out for sure.  According to the forecast, the hottest day of the week will be on Sunday with a whopping 79 degrees.  They have something in their forecast that we are becoming very unfamiliar with...rain.  But this is what I remember.  An average high of about 27 degrees.

This picture was taken by a friend of mine who was literally
been on the front line for 14 days straight.  These guys are
working 14 on, 12 hours a day with 2 off.

My Reality today...well we are in day number 16 of the High Park fire.  A fire that started outside of Ft. Collins, Colorado and has consumed over 83,000 acres and destroyed 248 homes.  The most in state history and the second largest fire ever in Colorado.  That is only one of 12 fires burning in Colorado today.  This past weekend both my mom and brother-in-law were either evacuated or put on voluntary evacuation.  One in Estes Park, my home town where 22 homes burned to the ground the other in Colorado Springs where an entire community was evacuated as the fire raced its way.  Today we matched the all-time record high for Denver at 105 degrees.  I don't know the exacts, but I think we have had 4 days of 100 or greater in a row with a couple more to come.  

In addition to, the state being on fire.  Here in Johnstown we have lost power 3 times in the past 7 days. They say because of the extreme heat and the demand on power in an attempt to stay cool.  The frustrating part is that it appears that it is limited to about 15 to 20 houses on our street and the one directly behind us.  Frustrating to say the least.  While it certainly isn't good sleeping weather, the real bummer is the food situation.  The bad news, the coolest day of the week is supposed to be Friday at 95 degrees.  If we are lucky it will get down to the high 80's by next Tuesday.  You know it is bad when going to the water park seems like a bad idea because it is to hot...yip, that is where we are at.  

For me the two extremes are so glaringly obvious.  The cold to the bone cold of Ukraine vs. the so hot you don't dare go outside if the sun is till in the sky.  I know, I know, there are many of you out there that live in climates that make Colorado balmy.  We don't have humidity, the firefighters would love some about now.  It does cool down at night, we are at 79 degrees at 11:30pm.  We might get to 68 before sunrise.  But we have had this wicked hot wind blowing.  Feels like it is just sucking every drop of moisture out of your body.  Few, if any clouds...even though last night it rained hard for about 4 minutes.  4 more minutes of rain than we have had in weeks.  So which do I choose...that is tough.  I hate not sleeping.  But I guess I have to choose the heat.  Honestly, if I were comparing the cold of Colorado vs. the heat of Colorado, can't say I would choose the same.  But I remember thinking I may never warm up in Ukraine.  Taking the hottest shower possible just to get the body temperature back up.  Here I put on a cuter summer dress and have a cold beverage and life is good.  Fashion, it wins way to often.

So how are the girls you ask.  Well, I must say...they are fabulous.  Both Lily and Daria have come and gone to camp.  Both had a great time with completely different experiences.  Lily is a bit of a pampered camp, they have showers although they are not heated.  Daria, if she wanted a bath it was the river.  Lily had a bunk with a mattress in a cabin with about 11 other girls.  Daria, a tent, a sleeping bag and a cot.  But it was great for both.  Lily got to hang out at her favorite camp ever.  Daria got to experience the Colorado rockies at their full glory.  A true back country experience.  Lily went zip-lining and mountain climbing.  Daria shot rifles, pistols and a bow an arrow.  Next year they will go to camp together but I also think, if it is offered Daria will attend the Wilderness camp again.  It was all Ukrainian adopted kiddo's.  She was the youngest and apparently the fastest.  She managed to "capture the flag" and lead her team to victory.  She had the war wounds to prove it.

In order for her to go to camp, we didn't get to spend Father's Day together.  She headed to camp that day, so we took the other girls and headed to north east Colorado to the Tiny town of Grover, Colorado.  Population 293.  Each year they host the Earl Anderson Memorial Rodeo.  My dad, a cowboy, real cowboy through and through asked us to come out.  It was hot, it was windy and it was dusty.  I was blowing Grover dust out of my nose for 3 days.  But it was worth it.  Don't remember the last time we spent Fathers Day with my dad.  The best part of the day was the wild horse race at the very end of the day.  Everyone should experience a wild horse race once in their life.  

On the Father's Day note, Daria wrote a sweet card to Jamie that included a "love you" at the end.  That made me smile.  

Daria and Lily can't seem to get enough of the pool.  Can't say as I blame them.  Emma and Jamie have been good sports in taking them almost daily.  However yesterday I had to impose the "don't ask again or you won't go today or tomorrow" rule.  We are still working through the repetitive nature, ask, ask again, ask yet again...and again.  

Last night when the power went out, it was about 8pm.  The teenagers, including Emma's boyfriend Tommy were watching a movie.  We were all a bit frustrated that it had happened again, but they were amazing.  They all started playing life with headlamps on their heads.  They included the little girls as well.  But before long they were looking for the portable DVD player...the plan?  Watch movies in the car.  Which they did, minus the little girls.  They sat on the front porch with me, did some chalk drawing in the garage and called it a night.  Made me smile seeing the others in the van with their pillows and blankets...who needed a blanket in 100 degree weather.  Hint, hint....starts with an "A".

Tonight, we lost power again.  This time only or an hour or so.  Long enough to force us out for dinner.  I went to meet some friends in town, the big girls headed to the mall and Jamie took the little ones and headed to Subway.  I think I got the long straw on the night.  Great to hang out with old friend, old as in I have know them a long time, not old as in, well...old.  

When I got home the girls were huddled up on the couch watching The Lion King.  First time I have seen it, Daria cried when the dad died.  Real tears, very sweet.  

Well, last night I got about 4 hours of sleep.  It is already mid-night and I am working tomorrow.  Best get to bed.  As I go to sleep tonight I will be going back in time, some 20 weeks ago.  The cold, the uncertainty, the confusion and I will be thanking God for where I am today, the opposite extreme.  

Soothe My Soul

Ok Susie...this is for you!

For the past three years Lily has been blessed to be able to attend Camp Timberline.  I am not biased or anything, but it is simply the BEST Christian based sport & mountain adventure camp ever.  We didn't think she was going to be able to go this year.  I tried to sign her up while I was in Ukraine, to my surprise the were already full.  Our only hope was to put her on the waiting list.  On May 29 I got an email notifying me that she was still on the wait list for session one that would start on June 7.  But again to my surprise, on on June 1st there was a packet waiting in the mail stating that "they would see Lily on June 7."  She was thrilled, I was thrilled.

Today I made the drive to pick her up.  The drive in and of its self is an amazing thing for me.  I don't think I could ever tire of the drive up "the canyon."  From our house it is about an hour and 15 minutes or so.  It starts out as a highway drive but quickly transitions into a mountain drive...my favorite kind of drive.  I love the twists and curves.  I love showing all those flat-landers how it's done.  It is a game, a challenge really.  Too bad I have to drive a Honda Odyssey mini van.  Not bad when that mini van shows that Mercedes how it's done.  Sad to say that I had to follow a Lotus down...couldn't help but think about how much fun it would be to drive a machine like that up the canyon, down might be somewhat of a let-down

Those of you who are familiar with the drive from Lyons to Estes Park know that it is an elevation gain of over 2,000 feet in just about 20 miles.  It is curvy, and for those of us who grew up driving these roads...it is fun.  My favorite view of possibly all time is when I crest the hill at Pole Hill.  The mountains, nowhere are they more spectacular.  As I make my way down to the lake I decide that today it might be fun to "cut the corner."  That is, take Fish Creek Road rather than go up and take Highway 7...the usual and typically preferred route.  I went past Whispering Pines Drive, past Carriage Hills, past that grueling "hill workout" from days gone by and track practice.  The golf coarse...so many crazy memories surround that road.  Most are sweet, some I am just glad to have lived to talk about them.   It was a great, yet brief trip down memory lane.  Glad I took it.  Many faces flashed before my eyes, many dates in time as well.

Anyway, back to picking Lily up.  Something about walking through the woods just soothes my soul.  In the midst of chaos, I find peace.  So thankful that Lily got to spend 6 nights living in the shadow of Longs Peak.  Someday we must climb it...she must climb it.  Me, maybe I am cresting that place of being to old, too many body aches and pains, or just a big chicken.  But maybe....

After getting Lily we started the trip back home.  We headed down Highway 7 back towards Estes Park.  Many of you know about the High Park fire.  Now at over 46,000 acres, that is bigger than Washington D.C..  More than 1,200 personal fighting the fire.  I was so relieved to be out of the smoke area at camp.  No watering eyes, no head ache.  The smoke has been thick at our house and we are some 60 miles away from the fire.  Word has it that this fire has been reported on as far away as Europe.  Anyway, we got an interesting view of the fire from Highway 7.  Seems like no matter where we go, there it is.  This thing is massive, destructive and apparently a beast to fight.  After 4 days, still only 10% contained.  That means 90% out of control.  On our journey home, for the first time the orange flame were visible.  Ugly black billowing smoke with an orange under belly.  Pray for the fire fighters, this is a dangerous fire and the work they do is often thankless.  It is dirty, it is hot and it is physically taxing beyond what most of us could even imagine.



As for camp, Lily had a great time.  The only thing I ever ask of her is to do something that scares her every single day.  They have zip lines, high ropes courses, giant cable swings called the "gut chuck,"  they go on very long hikes...8 miles with a group of 10 year olds. Just the thought is scary to me.  They get launched from the "blob" in to an icy cold lake.  Take the ultimate slip and slide ride down a hill side into that same lake.  They play crazy games, explore Gods creation and learn about their chosen sport.  For Lily, that is tennis.  She was exhausted and energized all at the same time.

At the end of the week they give each kid what they call a "cq" or character quality award.  This year Lily got Leader and Encourager.  She had a great time bonding with her cabin mates and her counselors.  Funny thing, one counselors family adopted a boy from Russia a year ago.  There home date was April 13 of 2011 ours was April 13, 2012.  Another counselor went to Ukraine last summer on a mission trip...God has such a lovely way of bringing these little things together.

What I realize, after having our family so segmented this past winter...I hate it when we aren't all together.  Lily is so vibrant, so full of energy and life that the house was so oddly quiet while she was gone.  I didn't like it.  I like having my girls near me, even if they fight and bicker.

Next year, Daria and Lily will attend session one together.  Can't wait.

Daria will leave on Sunday afternoon for a wilderness camp specially designed for Ukrainian kids.  She isn't entirely thrilled about it, not sure what to expect.  And since I have never been, I don't have much help to offer her.  I do think it will be good for her, I also think she will enjoy it.

Life in the Degnan life just keeps on keepin on.  Emma is hobbling around in a big ugly black boot, stress fracture in her foot.  Annabelle has her nose buried in books a good portion of the time.  She did pull herself away long enough to head to the pool with some friends today.  Lily, well you already know what she has been up to.  Just add softball on to it, a season of only one loss.  Daria is glad to have Lily home, her play buddy is back.  The big girls are glad too.  They have been good sports but are about worn out of playing wii, ping pong, going for walks and to the pool.  Yesterday I asked Daria to come up with a name to call me.  Dangerous territory right?  Not really, she still has nothing to call me.  Not mom, not Tiffany, not "hey you with the blonde hair."

Beyond that, not much happening.  I am including some pictures of our summer to date.  A few road races, a few weddings and some general Degnan family fun.

Berthoud Habitat for Humanity 5k.  Lily finished 2nd in her division.  Emma won hers and finished as second overall female.  Daria was the 1st place female in the kids 1k.  Not bad for the Degnan's!

For me, a couple of observations.  After picking Lily up today, it was kind of a mad dash.  Had to be at her softball game by 5:30 and didn't leave Estes until 3:30.  But there was something about walking through the woods.  The smells, the huge pine trees surrounding me...I just wanted to stay there, soak it all up.  Yet when I got to the ball field, just walking through the grass, making my way to the bleachers again just soothed my soul.  I am constantly reminded of where I was and where God has brought me.  I still find myself relishing each and every experience.  I talk to folks, hear how hot it has been in Ukraine.  I can't quite get my head around it.  I can't imagine leaving Karen's apartment with anything less than a coat.  It was so cold there, in my head, it is always cold there.  Gods faithfulness is still astounding to me.  I am so thankful, so blessed!

Lily loving the swing at a rare wedding where we were guests and caterers.  Beautiful setting right on the river.

Showing some Ukrainian Pride n

I'm Back...

I'm Back...never left...but...

I had to look back to see when I posted last...Mother's Day.  That was nearly a month ago, wow!  A lot has happened since then.  I promise to spare you every little detail of Degnan life, just the highlights.  Or in reality, what I can remember of the past month.  It is a blur really.

But to start lets talk about the now.  Right now it is 10:30pm on a Thursday night and we are in the midst of a classic Colorado summer thunder storm and I love it.  I love the flash of light, the booming thunder and the pouring rain.  I love the sounds, the smells, the darkness of the sky.  Jamie, he hates lightening!  Sorry babe, secrets out.  Lightening starts and he heads straight the the safest place in the house...the basement.  Me, I love it.  I find myself standing at the front window watching, fascinated by how each blast seems better than the one before and being disappointed when things start to die down.  My dream is to have a house with a wrap around, covered porch with a metal roof.  That way I can sit under the shelter of the roof and hear the storm in stereo.

I know, you don't really care about how much enjoyment I get out of  a summer storm.  You just want to know what craziness is going on inside our house.  Well, honestly not that much.  School got out on the 24th of May.  We ended the year with a big party, lots of food, lots of water and lots of laughs.  This is a tradition for us in Berthoud.  It was also Daria's first exposure to a chaotic American water fight.  Have no fear...she jumped right in with both feet.  She loved the water balloons but her real weapon of choice was the mega water machine gun.  She went after anyone who moved without fear or caution.  In the process she got her first American sunburn.  I am such a bad mom, why can't I remember sunscreen?  It was even in my car.

Since then the community pool has opened and between Emma and Jamie, the two little ones have been frequent visitors.  It is nice to have that as an option, a way to break up the day.  Besides the pool, they decided that it was a good idea to set up the sprinkler under the trampoline and then lather up the tramp with a bunch of soap.  It seemed like a good idea until the next day when both of them ended up with a nasty rash all over their legs.  The mom in me hated the whole soap & water thing...seemed like an emergency room visit waiting to happen.  I have to admit, while I felt bad for the itchy red legs, I was relieved to get an easy way out of the whole soapy tramp thing.

The girls (all of them) have rediscovered the wii.  What a funny and sometimes frustrating thing to observe.  They all have their own "signature" so to speak, the way they play the game.  Daria plays it safe just to preserve the number of "lives" she has.  This is an annoyance to the other girls.  With Mario, it is a team effort.  It is funny to hear them say things like, "don't push me" or "don't go into a bubble."  Most of the time it all works out, but things have gotten a bit tense from time to time.

About a week ago Daria discovered America's Funniest Home Videos on netflix.  If you really think about it from an "outside the USA" standpoint, we (American) really look stupid.  She thinks it is hilarious, which makes it funnier for all of us.  She has also been bombarded with "Four Wedding," "Say Yes to the Dress," "Challenge," and "Chopped."  Throw in a few Disney regulars and she is becoming an American girl before our eyes.  She is so in a house full of girls.  She is not a girlie girl, but Emma is determined to change that.  She keeps trying to paint her nails...Daria's response, "no, I don't like."  Today, Lily tried to get her to put a hair band in her hair, no go.  It wasn't even a real hair band that you might think of.  It was one of the hair bands that girls put around their head after their hair is in a pony, just to keep fly-aways back.  No way, no how.  But she did ask for a dress the other day.

Lily has been super busy playing softball.  Which surprisingly, the whole family has gotten in the act.  Her team is really good this year, they have only lost one game and are guaranteed a spot in the tournament.  Daria has shocked me at how quickly she has picked up the game.  She has a better understanding than a lot of American born and bread adults have.  Even more than going to Lily's games, she likes going to Jamie's.  He takes her to the batting cages before the game and then she sits and watches his whole game.  It has become their little time together.  That and helping him in the prep kitchen doing work for events.  She even helped serve at church last night.

As for the other girls, we do still have three others.  They continue to wow me and inspire me.  Annabelle is our "go to girl."  She is trying to earn money for a trip to Italy next summer with a school group.  So she agreed to be the babysitter designate.  She watches the "children," her words not mine, when we have weddings.  In addition to that she is also helping with set up of events whenever possible.  This babysitting thing is no easy task, you try watching two 10 year olds.  Feeding them, making sure they are brushing their teeth, getting them to bed.  No easy task.  She has a little money in savings but is determined not to tap into her savings, she wants to earn her way.  That's my girl.  Still haven't gotten her back into the gym, she keeps reminding me that the "guns" have faded.

Emma has been busy running the race circuit.  She ran the Bolder Boulder in her fasted time ever with a time of 44:42 for a 10k.  That is a 7:11 mile pace.  She finished 7th in her age division of 16 year old females out of 345...her gender finish was 241 out of 25,155.  That was on Memorial Day, just 6 days later she ran the Berthoud Habitat for Humanity 5k.  She was the number 2 overall female finisher, first in her division but a little ticked off that the only female that beat her was an incoming freshman.  Now she is sporting a lovely big, black boat on her right foot...the reason, a stress fracture to her foot.  Looks like no running for her for a while.

At the Berthoud Habitat race, Daria ran the kids 1k fun run.  For the record, she won for the girls.  Lily ran the 5k, second place in her division.  Daria was a bit miffed that all she got for winning was a silly, tiny little rubber duck while Lily go an actual metal.  Emma came through in true Emma fashion and gave Daria her metal.  The end result, 2 first place divisional finishes, one second place divisional, one second place gender overall finish.  Not a bad showing for the Degnan clan.

Lily, little Lily!  Really she is little, according to her doctor visit this week she is all of 4 ft 4 in and a whopping 60lbs at 10 years of age.  But let me tell you, that little thing can smack that softball.  She has hit for several stand up doubles and is a regular on base batter.  Today I dropped her off at camp, Camp Timberline.  A mountain sport adventure camp at the base of Longs Peak, just outside of Estes Park.  She gets to spend the next 6 nights in the Rocky Mountains and she couldn't have been any more excited.

As for how the adjustment is going, really I would have to give it a B+.  Things are going so much better than I had prepared myself for.  Daria is truly fluent with English.  We haven't used google translate in weeks.  She and Lily have definitely had some ups and downs.  Last weekend we nearly had our first physical confrontation.  But both of them showed great self control.  Daria is definitely a control freak, has to be first, fasted, loudest.  When on a hike, she must lead.  When getting in car, she must get in first.  Riding bikes, she must be faster.  Going for a family walk, she can not walk with the family...always out front.  This kinda drives Lily crazy but it is a good opportunity to remind her what orphanage life was like for Daria.  If you aren't first you might not get anything.

To date, Daria is still not calling me anything.  A few days ago we were at one of Lily's softball games, Daria wanted to play in the park.  I told her that she needed to ask either using my name or mom and if she couldn't do that she would have to sit in the van.  She reached for the van door when I asked her, "would you really rather sit in the van than ask me by name?"  She hesitated, then asked "Tiffany, may I...."  She will refer to me as mom when talking with the girls, but never, never to my face or even in ear shot.  That's ok, with her "mom" is an earned title.

She seems to adore and idolize both Annabelle and Emma.  She hugs and hangs on Annabelle, our "don't touch me girl."  Makes me smile every time.  Each hug chips away at that tough shield she has.  She seems to identify with Annabelle's sense of fashion.  With Emma, totally different relationship.  I think Emma might be the best one with her, she teaches her stuff all the time.  Yesterday it was states, she rattled off over 15 states, pointing to them on a map before bed.  Ticked Lily off, "she knows more states than me."  And off to bed she stomped.   Emma is also good at managing B.O.B (bad orphan behavior).  She is patient, clear and compassionate.

She has met most of the Colorado family by now.  She has a couple of crazy uncles, some cousins, one grandma to go.  She loves the cowboy papa, such a new concept that is.  She met the little cousins and got a kick out of them.  It was way cute watching her hold her baby cousin, Rory.  Too, too cute.

Beyond all of that, she has been to the zoo, a hike in the Rockies, Walmart, an adventure in itself.  Church, a wedding, the doctor, a high school graduation, a major 10k race with some 50,000 runners, a small town parade where there are nearly as many people in the parade as watching it.  Eating off of the ice cream truck, thrown water balloons and shot water guns.  She has eaten taco's, bbq and more than a few America hamburgers.  French fries with mayo, spaghetti with mayo, taco's with mayo and grilled chicken with mayo...she likes mayo.  She has played softball, thrown a football, a baseball, a frisbee.  Rode a bike and a scooter.  Played with sidewalk chalk, bubbles and believe it or not, even an American Girl doll.

As for the parents of these amazing girls, well we are blessed.  We have 7 weddings under our belt for the 2012 wedding season...with over 20 more to go.  I love my catering crew, each of them, they bless me, energize me and entertain me.  I went back to work at the cafe, if you can call it that, this week.  I will be working about 10 hours a week at the Lighthouse Cafe.  What a crazy experience that was, going back to work.  Everything has changed, except the people.  That is what I have missed, the people!  The obvious, Hollis, Stacy, Becky, Suzie, Melody, Brenda, Mark, Steve and all the staff at Grace Place.  Then there are the customers, Harry, John, chief, the fire guys...it was the first time I have seen some of them in over 4 months.  It was nice, very, very nice.  I am truly a social being and I love the energy, the environment.

Jamie has been working like crazy, between his "paying" job at Meals on Wheels and catering for Origins he doesn't have a lot of time left.  But he has managed to do a couple meals for Celebrate Recovery and play softball once a week.  He too, ran the Bolder Boulder and finished in under one hour.  Not bad for an "older" guy.  Easy for me to say as I sat on the bleachers and cheered on the finishers.

Well, the storm is over and it is way, way past my bedtime.  I have to say, this post is for a few of you, you know who you are...Deb in Arizona and Dawn in New Zealand.  Your protests of my absence have not gone unnoticed.  A little birdie tells me that Deb is coming for a visit this summer.  How many years has it been?  There are others who have hinted at my absences.  I knew it would be difficult to keep it up once I was home.  Honestly, I feel like I don't have a lot to share and I don't want to bore you all.  But I will try to share a bit more frequently.  We have weekly outings planned to the museum, Elitch's (amusement park), water world, mountain climbing and camping.  How could there not be an entertaining story or two in all of that.

Before I go, I have to say....I has been two months now since I got home.  So much has happened, we have been so busy.  Yet, it never escapes my notice that I have yet to reach the time home that equals the time away.  While the time away seems like a distant far away place it is still ever present in my being.  It has deeply shaped me, left a lasting impression on my soul.  Some folks have shared the Foot Print in the Sand poem with me, to be honest, while I know that God carried me he also forced me, and I do me FORCED me to walk every step of the Ukrainian journey.  I couldn't have made it without him, but He had a requirement of me...walk, keep walking and when you feel like stopping, walk some more.  He never left me, He helped me but He did not fully carry me.  He required me strap on the boots and follow him.  I did, and oh how thankful I am.

Thats all!