Today is an interesting day in the Degnan house. It is one that has envoked a lot of emotion and deep feelings. It is another day of big firsts for us as a family...we did something we have never done before (and I hope we never, NEVER do again) we ventured out to the grocery store. Relax, of course we go to the grocery store regularly. Everyone is well fed, mostly! But today, Superbowl Sunday of all days we decided it was time we ALL went to the grocery store, TOGETHER, at the same time, on purpose. This is generally a task done by one parent...guest which one, and sometimes one child comes along. But today, all 6 Degnan's with all our personality and volume invade just at prime snack shopping time, 12:30pm. The good news, we all escaped with our lives as did all the other shoppers. We only spent $50 over our budget, we only saw 3 people we knew and only one child declared that a certain parent needed "medication." I will leave it to your imagination which child and which parent it might be. Adventure...maybe, punishment...that is my vote.
But really, the real anniversary is that it was one year ago that Jamie, Lily and I boarded a plane bound for Ukraine. It is now that I really understand what "hind sight is 20/20" means. It was on this day that our lives would forever change, or the start of that change.
I remember that day, standing just beyond the ticket counter at Denver International Airport, saying goodbye to Annabelle and Emma for what I thought would be a 6 to 7 week separation. Never in a million years could I of imagined road laid out before us.
Since returning home on April 13, 2012 some 10 weeks after we left we have celebrated many first. First day of school, first birthday, first time to camp, first football game, first time playing volleyball or football or any sport really. First vacation as a family. The day we got citizenship papers, when we got an American passport. Getting family photo's taken, twice. First Christmas.
But guess what, not all firsts are great, moving wonderful moments. First family fight, first time we have to go to bed without treat. First time a sibling said or did something hurtful or mean. That is the beauty of being family, the good, the bad, the ugly.
In a nutshell, it has one crazy year. In the end, it is a year I wouldn't trade for anything. It was unbelievably painful, difficult and heart-wrenching. Yet, rewarding, invigorating and beautiful. The personal growth is beyond anything I can truly explain. The bond that I have witnessed between all the girls is quite amazing. I watch the "big" girls and am in awe at their compassion and love. The relationship between"children"(Lily & Daria) though not without struggles has been quite an inspiration. These two little people, so different...different language, customs, foods have been a true shining example of how to show love and compassion. Please, don't misunderstand...they drive each other crazy, get on every last nerve and annoy each other at every possible opportunity. Yet, when the rubber hits the road they have each others backs. Lily says they are Irish twins, two kids born less that 12 months apart. And as strange as it might sound, we have seen some twin tendencies.
I can't go into the details of each girl, their struggles, their lives. I will do anything to preserve and protect them, and their privacy. I will say, while it has been quite difficult and often frustrating and confusing, the transition has gone much smoother than I ever could have hoped for. But each of the girls has made profound sacrifices, sacrifices that I never want to minimize. With that said, each of the them has shown depth of character, strength and wisdom beyond their years and I am proud.
So what lies ahead for me, for us? Good questions. With the start of our "anniversary season" I find myself flooded with a wide range of emotions. Amazing how a simple date in time can trigger so many feelings, so many memories. Now, I find my self looking at life through the lens of Ukraine. Its imprint so deeply engraved, carved really right into my soul. Little triggers, little memories, little experience that can be so HUGE. Smells, the cold, the fear and uncertainty. So for the next ten weeks I plan to take a trip, a big trip that in may ways I have been avoiding. I am going to take a trip down memory lane. I am going to revisit each and every blog. I will read it, let it take me back to the reality that was. I will soak up every emotion, every fear, every bit of anger and frustration. I might even blog on the blog. I definitely have more freedom now. No one editing my posts, advising me to "soften" this or "remove" that. I can share freely about the experience, the feelings, corruption and game play. Honestly, I want to experience last year through the lens of hind sight. Perspective...right?
Now, those of you that truly know us, the Degnan's, know that we LOVE sports. Especially baseball and football. We are die-hard Colorado Rockies fans (followed by the Mets) and sometimes live and die by the Broncos (with the Giants coming in just behind). If you follow sports you know that the Rockies were a complete disappointment this past year. Yet, Annabelle was unwavering in her devotion. The Broncos were on a slippery slope with us, having dealt Tebow and opting for Manning. All was great on the Bronco front until the first game of the playoffs when Manning took a knee rather than insuring the win. Don't overlook the three turnovers, all by Manning, all resulting in points for Baltimore. Why all the sport talk? Well, for years we have hosted a Superbowl party. Last year was the first time in years that that didn't happen. Not only did we not host a party, we missed the game entirely because we were on our first transatlantic flight en route to Kiev. Upon arrival in Germany, we searched high and low for a newspaper that might just post the results of that crazy American game. Honestly, we looked everywhere and could find nothing. It was torture of sort, especially for Jamie who not only loves the Giants, he strongly dislikes (despises) the Patriots. In our house it goes like this...Broncos first, Giants second and anyone playing the Patriots third. Thankfully while waiting to board our last flight, we mentioned our torture and a passenger behind us says..."oh, the Giants won." Shew, we could complete our travels and actually rest on that last leg. Little did we know all the drama that lye ahead in Bronco land. Tebow traded, Manning in house, Elway....no comment. Kinda glad we missed the circus that ensued. Funny getting American news through an international lens.
Well, today we reinstated our annual tradition of the Superbowl Party. We had way to much food, shared with the most amazing group of friends. The kids were loud, and hyped up on soda. The teens, camped out in the basement. At a couple of different times I found myself struck at the beauty of it. The crazy, loud, chaos of a Degnan party (not unlike our visit to the grocery store). Overwhelmed by the blessing of friends, most of which played a significant role in our journey. From inspiring us to "GO", to housing/or babysitting our kids, to restocking our kitchen, to hosting birthday parties in our absence. Shocking really, that we have so many exceptional people in our lives. We don't deserve you, but appreciate you beyond words. Another opportunity for gratitude, another opportunity for tears...but this time, they are different tears. Not tears of a crazy, homesick, overly emotional, sleep deprived women. Tears of joy, of gratitude. Tears of look where I was and look where I am. Tears of, wow...look what God did. On so many levels. I survived, she said yes, I got home in time for prom, my family is amazing, and I didn't "stay" crazy. Careful, I know what you are thinking....
Now for the "snap-shot" update on all things Degnan, top to bottom (oldest to youngest)
Jamie, good sport. Only man with 5 women. Enough said! Continues to work with Meals On Wheels all while executing some of the most amazing meals for Origins Catering Co. Weddings, non-profit benefits, corporate functions...poor guy, an average week is over 60 hours. Some weeks over 80 hours.
Tiffany, working very part time at the Lighthouse Cafe. Loves seeing her regulars and working with the most amazing group of people in the world at Grace Place. Can't believe I get to be wife and mom to the most amazing group of crazies....love each of you beyond words.
Emma, a junior at Berthoud High School. She ran in the state championships for Cross Country. Will swim in the state championships in high school swimming next week and is already preparing for the track season. A 4.0 student and already making college visits.
Annabelle, a freshman at Berthoud High. Jumping right into high school life. Going to the gym several times a week and can kick butt on pull ups. Makes her mama look like a fool. Planning to run cross country next year and continues in her culinary adventures. We all love it when she cooks for us. She has been working alongside her mama at a local event center concession's to earn money for a trip to Italy this summer.
Daria, in 5th grade. Made her first visit to the middle school to tour and and explore. Doing amazing at school. Has been tested for gifted/talented in math, still waiting on results. Completely fluent in English, loves her remote control car and to my demise...Woody Wood Pecker, ugh! Slept in her own room, all by herself, for the first time EVER in her life. Has grown over 3 inches in 10 months. Amazing what good nutrition will do.
Lily, also in 5th grade and so therefore also made the tour. She too was tested for gifted/talented in literacy, thankfully not math. No more competition please. She was accepted! Part of the STEM club at school for the sciences. Continues to take piano and sing, even though it drives a certain sister...C.R.A.Z.Y. She is still the itty bitty one in her class...maybe she will grow before 6th grade starts. Still full of "many words" and has her favorite...(Rob) word smith.
As a family, we finished our basement this fall. It didn't take long to figure out that this transition was harder on certain family members than others So now each girl has their own room.
As for Origins Catering Company, the 2012 wedding season was the best yet. We were unbelievably busy and blessed with a bunch of great couples and their families. Honestly, it was kind of an entertaining season. A few firsts that I won't go into. It stretched us, tested us and grew us. So now, we are in the process of purchasing and renovating our very own space. A building that will house our own kitchen and office. We will become landlords in the process as the building is larger than we need. An adventure....like we need another adventure. Guess God thinks we do. I did make Jamie promise me that we would not do anything for the next 5 years (at least) that required an in-depth application process. Between the adoption and the Larimer County Health department, I don't EVER want to see an application longer that 2 pages, ever again. It's not done, waiting for approval from the health department then we have the building department and the whole lending process. You all wonder why I need to escape to the beach.....let me send you a copy of the health department application. I don't think I am a dumb person, but this made me feel stupid, really, really stupid. Short story, hopefully by June 1 we have a lovely new retail location where you can stop by and have a cup of coffee with me. Scary....
For now, I say good night. It has truly been a "Super Sunday." Glad to be home with my new little (almost as tall as me) Ukrainian daughter. Glad to have my friends at our house. Glad to watch the SuperBowl. Glad to be typing from this side of the Atlantic. Glad to have perspective. Glad to be a mom of 4 amazing girls...see, I really am crazy.
Stay tuned over the weeks to come. Who knows where the path will lead. I am just along for the ride. I am sure it will be an emotional ride, one I need...again. When it is all said and done, who knows maybe I will "re-launch" a new name, a new direction. I don't know that I have anything super deep, or profound to offer but I do know that this is still a wonderful outlet, a place for me to tell a story, share an experience, express my heart. It is up to God what He wants to do with it. I did learn from a wise man..."write it down and let it go." So, I write it down...What ever you want Lord...What ever you want, I love to write, what ever you want.
Next post...Funny Pages, revisited!
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