A Different Place

Today I find myself in a very different place.  While I am overjoyed by yesterdays events, I am mourning the fact that in my head I was already home, with my girls.  Now the reality of things has kicked in.  Not only am I not home with them, I won't be for quite some time.  Now the uncertainty, and fear of the process has kicked in.  Now the money concerns, the time concerns, the business concerns and the main one, the family concerns have fully engaged.

I don't think I had fully prepared myself for a yes answer.  I didn't expect it honestly and when she verbalized her no, it confirmed all of those fears.  Then, the miraculous happened.  The big God moment. So I now find myself trying to take it all in.  Readjust my mind set and gird myself up for what lies ahead.

While my prayer is for extreme favor in this process, that some how, some way things might just shock me and we might actually get it done sooner than the "best case scenario" in my head, I full realize that honestly it could go either way.  It could happen where we breeze through, get the forms, approvals and signatures needed faster than they say.  And trust me on this one, I am pushing as gently buy clearly as possible.  But it could not happen as well.

Today we start the paper chase.  And for now the plan is for Lily and Jamie to stay here until Friday night.  Then they will take the overnight train back to Kiev with the plan of flying home on Sunday.  Don't hold me to that, things could change today based on how things go.  But for now, we feel that one of us needs to get back to the girls.  Jamie will most likely have to come back for court, but we are also hopeful that maybe, just maybe they will make an exception and allow for me to finish that part up.

I have worked a timeline out in my head, but am trying not to get hung up on that.  We should know better by next Tuesday, so I will keep quiet on that part until we actually start getting real dates.  The only certainty is that it's not over yet, just beginning.

Needless to say, I didn't sleep well last night.  Actually, I slept better on the train than in my bed last night.  My anxiety level is high, much too high really.  I know I need to take a deep breath, and trust God.  He got me here, where I never expected to be.  And He will surely get me where I need to be.  It is his story, I am the tool tell it.  So my appeal to all of you is to please pray for me.  When Lily and Jamie leave it will a huge relief in one way, at least one of us will be with all the girls.  But on the other hand, the homesickness and loneliness could be overwhelming if I don't get a grip.

I will work through all of this, and part of me being able to do that is being able to be honest with those of you following.  Oh, and anyone who wants to come spent a week or so in Ukraine with me, feel free.  The good part is that our location is relatively close to Bill and Karen Miller.  We chatted last night and maybe I will get to see them soon.

Well, better pull it together and put my face on for the day.  Love to all....