Hang Tough

And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.
                                                                                                                                                  Galatians 6:9

And that is my resolve for this final phase of our journey overseas.  I fully realize that the real journey, our true story will begin when we are melded under one roof living as a family.  But for now, the task at hand is to complete the final steps, claim her, get her new birth certificate that calls her by her newly given name of Daria (gift) Hope Degnan.  Get her a new passport, and visa and get her home, finally home.

For now though, I am enjoying my time in Germany.  Being quiet, getting rest, eating lots of carbs and taking in the beauty and peace.  Right now I sit at a comfortable table with a lovely view of the country side out the front window.  Trees are budding, little white and pink blossoms are popping out.  I hear birds chirping.  With this view, I could be just about anywhere and feel at peace.  The house is quiet, I have my coffee and my morning danish.  Me, my computer, my Bible, nearly perfect.  Just missing a few girls and my husband, then it would be perfect.  Soon, very soon.

As time has passed I have figured out a lot about myself and about God.  I have learned that no one can do "it" for me.  That "it" is grow.  Growth is painful and requires action, a response.  But the reward is immeasurable.  I look back over the past months, yes plural, months.  I see where I started and look where I am now, knowing that this is not yet complete.  I see where I have come from but yet only have a glimpse of where I am headed.  While the growth is huge, it is not complete.

Confidence is an interesting thing.  I always thought I was pretty confident, but really, not so much.  Sure, I was plenty confident in things I knew, things I could control, things I was an "expert" in.  But hanging tough wasn't always in my make up.  I never really liked it when things got uncomfortable, I still don't.  But looking back at where I was even 4 weeks ago, ready to quit and run home to my girls, and where I am now makes me realize that I have more backbone to withstand difficulties than I might have thought.  Now my confidence is in God to see me through what I don't understand, what I can't control, not in myself, my abilities, my knowledge.

It has been one full week since court.  I look back at myself that day and I was so much stronger on that day than the week before and now today, I feel like yet another completely different person.  Much more of myself, Tiffany!  My fears, while they try to creep back in from time to time, have diminished by leaps and bounds.  I now have a plan when they pop up and I actually can remember to put it into action.  The Word is my constant weapon.  Sleep comes easily and I can finish a meal.  I have even eaten dessert for the past 3 nights.

Now, I look forward to picking Daria up on Tuesday!  Accomplishing the paperwork part of things and getting back to Kiev.  Once in Kiev, then we can start doing life, in little ways.  We will be together 24 hours a day.  I will get to start really seeing her personality and she see mine as well.  I am so looking forward to having Annabelle be part of that experience, her sense of humor and perspective will be a lovely component.

Yesterday, I was able to go to a second hand store and get several outfits for Daria.  Hopefully they fit.  Still need to get a couple little items, like PJ's but we should be good to get home.  Funny looking for cloths for a child you don't really know.  I have a hard enough time picking out cloths for the other 3, each of them has such different taste, now a 4th, yikes.

As as for Germany, I wish I had more time to explore.  The little villages are amazing.  The average building here is older than the United States.  So quaint, and beautiful.  I had fun taking pictures and exploring the little alleyways and hidden walks.  People leaning out upstairs window, watching the world go by.  I can only imagine how beautiful it must be in the summer when all the window boxes are full of flowers.  Bakeries, little cafes with outdoor seating, flower shops...lovely!  Or winter with a fresh blanket of snow.

Yesterday, Annabelle had her German school experience and some adventures riding a bike that was much to big for her.  Gave her some funny stories to share at dinner.  We settled in and watched a movie last night.  She has been an amazing travel buddy.  I love getting to spend one on one time with her, something I am going to have to do a better job of with each of the girls now.


Today I think some more exploring is in order.  We are staying in a village named Korb.  Above town, the hillside is covered in vineyards.  They are divided into plots so to speak.  Each owned individually, kind of like a community garden.  I want to go up and take some pictures and enjoy nature.  Nancy has plans to take us to another town which from what I understand is even better than where we went yesterday.  Then tomorrow we head into Stuttgart to explore the city center.  Sunday, Kiev!

We have had no word of any family showing up to see Daria, no surprises to this point.  I do wonder how she is doing? She has been on her spring break this week and from my understanding, will not go to school on Monday.  But I kind of hope they change their mind on that.  It would be good if she could say good bye.

At home, the family is doing well.  They are keeping up the courage, and therefore so can I.  Spring break starts tomorrow and then is Easter.  And maybe, just maybe we can all be together by the next weekend.

For me, for now, I am soaking in the distraction.  Loving my time with old friends.   Praying for stronger resolve and courage and the strength to finish strongly the race set before me.  The ability to Hang Tough!

Blessing to each of you...missing you all!