Sweet, Sweet Sleep

Greetings from the beautiful city of Stuttgart, Germany!

Annabelle and I arrived about 6pm yesterday and have relished every moment.

Now, before I get to far let me explain that if you see what appears to be "typo's" they are most likely the result of the difference in the German keyboard and the Engish keyboard.  For example:  Annie and I had a great lunch in Yurich.  <it was fresh, and real and verz expensive.  For two sandwiches, a salad, a croissont and two beverages it was $41.00.  Yurich is beautiful, and we would of liked to have gone and explored a bit but itös not alwazs possible to do what zou want.  So, as zou can see the "z" and "y" have traded places and many other symbols are in differnt places.  The short of it, please forgive anz tzpo's and use zour imagination.

Anyway,  the trip was uneventful really.  We both fake slept on the Ukrainian International Airlines flight just to avoid the nasty sandwichs.  I will be glad when I don't have to get on another one of their flights.  They are cramped, the seats are terribly uncomfortable and it almost seems like the planes are a hand-me-down from another country. After quite a layover we got on our flight to Stuttgart, it was very funny really.  We took off, they passed out bottled water and Swiss chocolate, went straight back to the front of the plane, picked up the trash and we landed.  It was a beautiful flight, I got to see the Alps in the distance.  Some day I must come back here!  I remember as a little girl talking to my dad about going to Austria and Switzerland to go skiing.  Dad, you name the time and I am there!  We never really have had a Daddy/Daughter get awaz.  Now, I want to come back in both the summer and winter and go beyond Austria and Switzerland, I want to see Europe...Western Europe!

Some of you are probably wondering why we came to Germany.  Well, there are several reasons but the two main reasons, Lulu and the Luckhof's.  Who is Lulu?  Lulu is a lovely young lady who came to stay with us in Colorado a year and a half ago.  She was 14 at the time and just wanted to have an American experience and learn some more English.  She spent just over a month with us, and just jumped in and took on our life.  Went to school with the girls, did some catering, visited our mountains.  We loved having her and we are thrilled to get to see her in her home country and to meet her family. 

Now the Luckhof's, Friederich, Nancy and Ben.  Back in the day, I lived in Aspen, Colorado.  I was single and just wanted the mountain, ski bumb lifestyle.  My sister was living in the area so I figured, why not and moved.  It was the best decision of my life up to that point.  Many things happened there that have put me where I am right now.  First, that is were I accepted Christ.  Friederich was the Pastor of the church my sister and her family were going to, Alpine Christian Fellowship.  I started attending with them and the rest is history.  I have know Friederich and Nancy longer than I have known my husband.  Which is the second best thing to come out of my time there.  We met and married because of it.  I actually worked for Friederich as the secretary of the church for a time when Emma was a baby.  Nancy has been one of the biggest influences in my adult life, someone I respect and admire.  And even after not seeing her for 13 years it was as though not a minute had passed. 

Nancy and Lulu picked us up at the airport and from there we got to take a short train ride and see a little bit of Stuttgart.  Then we went to Lulu's house where we got to meet much of the family...who are every bit as lovely and kind as Lulu.  We were greeted with an amazing spread of food, wonderful breads with meats, cheese, fresh veggies and fruit and the most amazing cheese cake ever. Nothing like it in the states.  There was more color on those platters of food than I have seen in literally months.  Strawberries, grapes, fresh basil, hard boiled eggs, smoked meat, amazing cheese, cucumber...my tummy was very, very happy.  And the best part, the amazing fellowship with the family.  So much laughter, story telling.  It was just what my heart needed!  For that time, there was no worry about what was going to happen when I got back to Ukraine or even, back home.  I was fully in the present moment!

When we got back to the Luckhof's house it was late, 10:30pm.  We were all tired and I actually felt like that night, I might just sleep.  And sleep I did!  Unaided, restful, sleep!  A straigh 7 hours, uninterrupted.  I woke for a few minutes, my mind started going places it shouldn't and for the first time in weeks, I was able to shut it off and go back to sleep.  All told I got a good 9 hours of sleep.  For the past week, I considered 4 hours in any format a good night.  But wow, this is what rest feels like. 

When I finally pulled myself out of bed and made it upstairs the table was set with fresh bread, yogurt, granola, fruit salad, juice and coffee.  I feel blessed!

We have no agenda for our trip.  I would like to see some of the country side.  Go see the city center maybe but mostly just soak in the short distraction from what has consumed my life for the past 2 months.  I pray that this is the rest that I need to energize me to complete the task at hand and finally take Daria home. 

I am starting to see and grasp some of what God has been trying to teaching me over the past months. First, I have to let go of the control.  It would have been a whole lot less painful had I gotten that sooner.  Second, there is a bigger picture here than what I originally thought.  It is beyond adopting, while that is huge and the reason we came.  It is about perseverance, courage, and trust.  Trusting God, trusting Jamie, trusting myself.  It is about growth in my faith, my utter dependence on God.  That cry from the pit of my soul for God to rescue me.  My heart for my family has grown beyond anything I thought imaginable.  I feel like I am just overflowing with love and pride for my husband and girls.  And really sometimes that scares me because I worry about being able to show that same love to Daria.  In my heart, I know it will come and I need to lighten up on myself.  I told Annabelle yesterday, you know when I had you girls, I did that for me.  Too make me happy, but this time it is beyond that.  It is first about doing what God wants, then giving Daria what every child deserves and then about how it makes me feel.  It is kind like approaching it in reverse this time.  I loved my girls the moment I knew I was pregnant with an unexplainable love.  This time, I am choosing to love and waiting for God to bring it to completion.  Does that make sense?  It is sometimes still scary, but less and less so all the time.

For now, my family remains separated by the Atlantic ocean and big chunks of two continents.  Jamie made his final journey home yesterday.  I am sure he was absolutely exhausted, but I and also sure that he took his two Colorado girls out to dinner to celebrate Lily's birthday.  Now that I am thinking about it, I think Lily is making out pretty good with the birthday celebrations.  That would make three and counting because be certain, when I get home, we are celebrating again.

At the root, it is back to the basics.  Faith and Family, that is what this is all about.  Oh, an a little sweet, sweet sleep!

<i love zou all!