A Good Cry With Friends (and Oreos)

I never knew that homesickness and missing your loved ones could literally cause physical pain, but let me tell you, it can.  And in my case, it is.

But before I go down the sob-story road let me tell you about my day.  I couldn't be at the orphanage until 4pm today because of school and lessons.  So it was a lazy morning.  I read a lot of Word, and spent extra time in the Psalms.  It was a good place to be.  But there were a couple of things that needed to be accomplished before our visit.

I needed to exchange some money, my first time having to do this my self.  In Ukraine, if you go into a business such as a bank and it happens to be at the tellers lunch time, you are out of luck.  They don't take lunch in waves but yet they don't close the bank either.  So I was out of luck.  Food was in order, since I had drank way to much coffee without eating and I wanted a place with wifi if possible.  I am still trying to get some good games and translation app's downloaded on the iPad and while I do have internet at the apartment, it isn't wireless.  Thanks to Sasha we found a nice little cafe, the food was good and it had wifi.  Success!  From there back to the bank to finish that up.

We had quite a bit of time before we had to be at the orphanage and since the weather was about as nice as it has been this entire trip, we took a nice leisurely walk on some different streets.  In some different parts of town.  I am sure it is very pretty here in the summer.  Lots of little parks and tree lined sidewalks, but in the winter, not so much.

We made one last stop at the market to get some potato chips for the treat of the day and made our way over to see my girl.  The potato chips here are so funny to me.  They are Lay's brand but I promise you there are none of the American flavors here.  There is bacon, mushroom, shrimp, onion, paprika...don't like em so much..  But the kids do, so the flavor of the day was bacon.

As we got near the orphanage I saw something I haven't seen in 5 weeks, an airplane flying high in the sky.  It is strange really that in all this time I have not seen or heard a single airplane.  I am sure they have flown over, but it is often cloudy.  But back home, at any given moment you can see or hear or both a hand full of airplanes.  I am obviously not under an air traffic route.  It was really a highlight, something strangely familiar.  And a glimpse of hope.

We got to the orphanage about 15 minutes early and went right back to the same old room, the computer room.  We went right into coloring, she prefers the animal pictures over any of the princess type of thing.  She is very detailed and wants everything "just so" and is quick to correct if I don't do it the way she wants.  She got some of her school work and shared that and then she sat down with me and went through every picture on my phone.  Including watching a couple of videos that I had recorded of Lily and Jamie singing on the wii.  She thought that was funny.  I got to see her interact with her friends a bit more today, she is definitely the ring leader.  She does seem to kind of watch out for the new kids but can be pretty bossy.  We spent some time working on key english words, she really knows quite a few words.  She doesn't like to use them when speaking with me.  So we will work on that the next couple of days.  I don't want to put a bunch of pressure on her, just enough that we can communicate on the trip home.  If I can learn a few and she learn a few we should be just fine.

Our walk home was in the dark, so we tried to walk with purpose and not linger, it is a good 35 to 40 minute walk.  I did take enough time to notice that it was a lovely evening and there were some beautiful stars in the sky.  It is still so oddly quiet here, even in busy places.  And the night is even more so.  One quick stop at the market and home we went.

That's when things went haywire today.  I think I made a mistake with my coffee consumption early in the day, kind aggravated the anxiety level and I never quite got it in check.  So by the time I got home I was overwhelmed with sadness for things going on at home.  At least I know enough to reach out when I am feeling like that, and thankfully I serve a big God who prompts others hearts to reach out to me.  After a call to our facilitator who was able to calm my fears and start the process of putting my mind at easy, I started typing the blog.  Which to be honest, I didn't want to post because I am tired of whining and crying to whole world.  But at the same time, it is such good therapy that I had to write, even if I never actually post it.

I got a little start on the blog when my friend, Mark from Grace Place Church popped in on Facebook to see how I was doing.  Don't know if he know he was asking a loaded question or not, but I am so thankful that he and the rest of the staff allowed me to unload.  Double barrel, sobbing, make-up streaked face and all.  I was thrilled that by the end of the conversation I was even joking about the toilet paper here.  They prayed for me and the process lying ahead, they encouraged me, they even made fun of me a little bit.  Oh, friends...what would I do with out you.  Thanks for loving me in spite of my crazy side.

So my day ends with some Oreo cookies, while my roommate eats an apple...way to make me look bad.  But I am enjoying every yummy bite.  I am more at peace now than I have been all day.  Sometime all you need is a good old cry with your friends to remind you that no matter how alone you feel, you are NEVER alone.  I still know God is doing a work, I still know that He is not done with me yet, I still know that He loves me, I still know I am right where He wants me and I still know that I will in fact, get to come home.

Tomorrow is the day I have been looking forward to.  It is a day in which we should be able to start planning the remaining steps.  Start to see how the time line will play out.  I think that has been a big piece of my stress, I just want to know something so that in my head I can start to work everything out.

Each day I grow a little stronger, a little braver and a little closer to God and to home.

Blessing to each of you and heartfelt thanks for all the love, support and prayer!  You all have truly been holding me up and I am forever grateful.