Country Road, Take Me Home

Last night I spent an hour writing my latest update.  I finished what I thought was a great entry and went to drop pictures in, and poof...it was gone.  All of it, gone just like that.  I was sad, but I decided it just meant that it was bed time.  So now I try again, hopefully this one will be just as good as yesterdays.  Your gonna have to trust me, it was good, really good.

Anyway, you may remember that during my little sabbatical to Germany I was wandering through a lovely, crowded and very interesting market...all the fresh veggies, meats, cheeses, breads, beer and wine you could imagine.  As I came around the last corner, headed for the door, a cover band started up.  It stopped me cold in my tracks...why?  They were playing Country Road by John Denver.  It was in English, some of the first music I had heard in months that I could understand.  It was by a musician from my old stomping grounds of Aspen.  And the symbolism of the song was overwhelming.  At that moment in time, I wanted nothing more than for that Country Road...I wanted it to take me home, the place where I belong.

I retell that story because yesterday, both Jamie and I found our selves taking that road home...each to our own home town.  Both for very different reason, but ironically both doing it on the exact same day.  He went back to North Port, New York to celebrate and honor his dad who passed away last week.  Me, well back to Estes Park, Colorado with the little girls for a field trip to MacGregor Ranch.  When Jamie goes home, the ocean is always calling him.  When he sees it, smells it, that is when he knows he is home.  For me, the moment I come up over that hill, see the lake, the town and the amazing Rocky Mountains, thats when I know I am home.  All these years, that view still moves me.  Still brings that peace, still makes me smile...that is what home does!

Before I go any further I have to say how blessed I was to have James Degnan as my father-in-law.  He was always kind, generous and sincere.  I liked to refer to him as daddy Degnan, to my girls he was grandpa Jim.  Being the western girl I am, I loved asking him questions about life growing up in New York.  Trying to understand what it must have been like living in the city, this depression era man, son of an Irish dad and Czech mom.  Even though he seldom got around to actually answering my question, I always learned so much more than I was really asking.  He loved to talk and I am pretty sure he never met a stranger.  I remember him smoking the cigars on the front porch with the boys.  Talking baseball with any one who would listen.  He loved food, knew the current price of nearly any given produce item and probably knew the pulse of the stock market better than many brokers.  He was a good man!  He will be missed, by me, by his kids and by his grandkids.  Thanks daddy Degnan:)

I wanted to go with Jamie, but for many reasons it just didn't make sense.  We have the obvious...family, finances and time.  Having been away for 10 weeks out first 18 weeks of 2012, missing so, so much was just part of it.  I have to consider Daria, here is a little girls who is used people leaving her.  I don't want her to think I am just another one of those people.  This time we are having right now, it is important and we will never get a second chance at our start with her.  We all get the financial part of life, travel costs money and after all the money spent on travel, there just isn't anything left.  Not that finances made this decision, they didn't...but I would be lying if I said it didn't contribute.  So, Jamie went, just as he should and I stayed, just as I should.

Our little field trip to the mountains, it was a lovely day.  A nearly perfect day in Estes Park, even no wind.  This was Daria's first trip into the mountains and while she has seen mountains before, never anything like this.  And to top it off, she got to see an actual working ranch.  It doesn't get much more Colorado than that.  She saw an eagle and a hummingbird, road in a wagon, got to milk a cow...well, a fake cow that is.  She toured a pioneer house, saw a real western saddle.  Top that off with a real american school bus ride...Wow!  It was pretty cool on my end to get to experience it through her eyes.  Just a little fyi, she still is charging ahead of the crowd, on everything.  We have actually seen the danger of this habit, more about that later.

We are seeing more and more personality come out.  We are seeing more and more tension, particularly between her and Lily.  They are working through it.  I have to remind Lily often, "remember where she came from."  Sometimes Lily just doesn't get it that Daria just doesn't get it.  She doesn't understand family dynamics, how a family operates.  That you just can't expect a given family member to just stop everything they are doing to go play.  The big girls try to be patient, explain that they are doing homework and can't go.....right now.  Usually the answer is ok, ok, ok...only to move right on to the next person.

The competitiveness is shining through, and that applies to both Daria and Lily.  Neither of them wants to let the other beat them at anything.  While we have tried to teach the rules of the road when it comes to the bike, she often is oblivious to the fact that there is anything else around, like cars...the other day I went out front and found her riding her bike in circles in the street.  Before I knew it, I truck had come along...she just kept on going, circle, circle, circle until I had to shout to get her attention that there was a truck there.  Of course she immediately moved, but she just doesn't really think to look around.  Later the same day she and Lily went for a longer ride, next thing I know Lily comes running in the house in tears, hysterical really.  "I am never riding my bike again."  I ask why, she says because she almost got hit by a car.  Moments later the neighbor was at the door, obviously shaken up, telling me just how close it was...so close the drive wasn't certain that he hadn't hit her.  This is where Daria's charge ahead nature can get her, and in this case Lily who decided to follow right along, in trouble.  Daria was just far enough ahead, because it is always a race, that she cleared the path.  Lily not so much.  I am hoping that a couple of lessons were learned here.  First, don't follow blindly.  Second, stop where the bike path meets the street.  Third, not everything has to be a race.  Good news is, God is good and everyone is ok.

Listening is a big one.  Like most kids she seems to have perfected the art of selective hearing.  Her English is so good, it does her little good to play dumb and act like she doesn't understand me.  Usually, that is just a ploy.  Still can't get her to call me anything...I am getting a little more resolve in not answering until she addresses me by name.

The girls, Daria included continue to amaze me.  Really, all in all, they are doing great.  This isn't easy what they are doing.  Here Daria is trying to find her spot in the family, make this house feel like home.  On the other hand we have these three girls who already know which button to push on which sister to get the desired result.  But they have been kind, gentle and (most of the time) patient.  They have helped with homework, explained words, looked at pictures, played countless games outside.

Today I was thinking that each of us, while we are feeling like things are moving in a very positive direction, there is still some mourning going on.  Each of has different things that we are mourning.  The three are mourning the loss of the family as it was, space has been infringed on, time has been infringed on.  Daria has to be mourning so many things, everything that was normal is gone.  She has no single blood relative within 6000 miles.  Her native language is rarely heard.  The food is all different, the smells too.  For Jamie and I we mourn certain things too, anytime you disrupt what is normal, make a huge life change, you are going to loose certain things.  But those things that are lost are replaced each time we build a new memory or share an experience for the first time.  I think I can say for all of us, that we would do it again.  Figuratively of course...we have no plans to do this again.

In addition to yesterday being the day both Jamie and I went home, it was also 3 months to the day of our 1st SDA appointment.  Boy has life changed since then...in so many ways.  When we arrived in Kiev, the temperature hung right around the -23 degree mark for days...weeks actually.  Now I am home sporting some pretty ridiculous tan lines.  A variation of a farmers tan, I call it the track runners mom tan.  Kind of burnt more on the right side than the left and then there is the tops of my knees and the flip flop marks on the tops of my feet...pictures wouldn't do it justice, just embarrass me and my kids.

We have jumped back into the catering mode with our first two weddings of the year last weekend.  It felt good to get back into it, even though I must admit I was a bit rusty.  This weekend we have a big event, no wedding but we are catering for two families who's sons are being ordained as Catholic priests.  Honestly, never been to an ordination before.  But I love it when we get to do something different.  Should be fun.  Then we have one weekend off before the craziness of memorial day weekend where we have two weddings, graduation with all the parties we need to attend and the BolderBoulder.

Emma ran her first BolderBoulder when she was 11 and has finished in the top 20 of her age group every year.  This year her dad will run it with her again, well not really with her.  She will start in the 6th wave, he in the 21st wave.  So really, they will drive to the start together and then Emma will wait for him at the finish.  Last year her mile pace was right at 2 minutes per mile faster than his.  I suppose I should shut up, he is running while I go sit on my butt in Folsom field and wait for them to finish.

Last weekend Lily ran her first 5k and did great finishing in second place for her age group.  She will run her next 5k this weekend and then another the first Saturday of June.  Other than that, she is still busy with music and softball where she is hoping to be a pitcher this year.

Annabelle has been busy baking, tonight it was coke cupcakes and margarita cupcakes.  Both were yummy.  Tomorrow we have to frost them so that they are ready for a birthday party on Friday night.  That kid can cook, now if I could just get her to clean up after herself...like mother, like daughter!  She is busy with all of her end of year projects which will include her POL presentation.  That has her a bit stressed but her attitude has been great about it.  Daria is one of her "examples" of people or items that have been significant in her middle school career.

Emma has her conference track meet tomorrow and then state next weekend.  She is trying to finish up a project that documents our adoption experience and journey.  It will include a video interview with Jamie and I, lots of pictures and statistics.   It is cool to see how the kids are using this experience in school and I can't wait to see how it impact others.

Daria is still busy riding the bike and taking the dog for walks.  We want to get her involved in some activities of her own this summer.  She says she has played golf and likes it.  Another thought was martial arts.  Next fall maybe we will venture into the world of team sports with soccer.

I had an observation today.  Daria was running around the house, literally.  The entire time she was talking to the cat and every word was English.  I have not once heard her revert to Russian.  When I was in Ukraine and I was trying to communicate, I would find myself trying to use more simple words but they were always English, never Russian.  I was impressed by this.   She is still happy and smiling and generally settling in.

A couple of other sweet bonding moments happened over the past week.  Daria and Lily were both with me when Jamie told me that his dad had died.  Lily immediately started cry and went straight to her dad.  Daria stood there for about 3 seconds before she too went to hug daddy.  It was genuine and sweet.  Then on Saturday morning, Lily left early to go run her race and I was being lazy just lying in bed.  Before long there was  a little knock at the door and in popped Daria.  She came straight over to the bed and climbed in.  She didn't stay long but the fact that she was willing to climb in did not go unnoticed.  She has only been in our room maybe 5 times in the few short weeks she has been here.

So this week was the week of going home.  A sweet man going home to be with Jesus.  Both my husband and I taking our own trip back down that Country Road...I can't speak for him, but for me it was a sweet journey.  Refreshing to my soul.  A road I will never tire of traveling.